This morning I decided to do something about my wardrobe crisis. So I scooped up The Wictor and the two of us set out for a morning of sensory play.

I am not kidding, The Wictor adores clothes shopping! He loves to caress the fabrics, wrap himself up in the long dresses and hide under the racks. He points to and names the different colors, and gets a lot of exercise running up and down the aisles. If there is a rack of underwear, sorry, lingerie, he will point to the bras and call out “Milkies!” in his best Embarrass-Mommy-In-The-Department-Store voice. Of course, we only shop at places which tolerate children, and specifically ones where the staff don’t get all snooty when you lose one. A child that is…

Well, there are a lot of aisles in those places.

I had originally planned to take a trip to New York and Company, for some budget shopping a la Tootsie Farklepants. But the nearest NY&Co is “In Town” and I ran out of time. So I decided to start at Saks 5th Avenue. Oh, alright, I decided to start at (Saks) Off 5th (Avenue). Is it my fault that the only local mall is an Outlet Mall?

It was there that I tried on a dress that actually made me look good in a dress.

I wanted that dress!

I should have bought that dress, especially at $99.99, down from $400. I stood there for a while and imagined myself wearing it. I imagined myself walking down to the swimming pool or the post box wearing it, hanging out in the yard with the kids while still wearing it, sitting in the sand at the beach while totally looking amazing in it, and for the finale,  getting various unidentifiable splodges of kiddy food all over it. On the white silk dress. Which made me look very good.

So we set off in search of pastures new. Inexplicably, The Wictor refused to even set foot in Banana Republic (Outlet) or J Crew(Outlet). I had to trust his judgement on that one. So you know where we ended up? TJ Maxx, where I bought two shirts. 

So wardrobe crisis temporarily averted, and for a total cost of $35. I am soooo cheap.