I have been swamped since we returned from vacation. First there was the usual - unpacking, laundry, children on San Francisco time bouncing around until 10pm - then at the end of the week items from my Etsy store were featured in several forums. Which led to demand. I am not complaining.

I went on a buying trip on Saturday and came back with less than I was hoping. But I did get some cute stuff and am working to get it online as quickly as possible.  I am not sure how I have so much energy on 5 hours sleep a night but maybe it’s because I am busy doing something I enjoy. 

Tomorrow we are hosting a major play date, and on Wednesday my sister-in-law arrives for a visit - different but also enjoyable activities which should force me to slow down a little. 

Normal Service should resume shortly.  

I’ve been neglecting you lately. I am truly sorry. In case you were wondering, we are back! Not rested, but certainly invigorated.

We had a good time, although we never did get to wear any flowers in our hair. And despite being on vacation (you know, vacation, where you get to sleep in and laze the days away and just drown in leisure time - hah!) and living through one thousand bloggable moments, I didn’t get to the computer for much longer than to check out the way to the next attraction.

So here, in condensed version, is our California vacation. Skip to the end if you are not a detail person:

Day One:

Dropped The Daddy off in town. Target. Yes, Target! To buy The Daddy swimwear, as I had forgotten to pack his and the kids wanted to experience the hotel pool. Followed by the San Francisco Zoo. Pleasant, not too big, recommended. But what is that with mediocre zoo lunches costing more than the entrance fee? Picked up The Daddy then sat for one and one half hours in traffic. Hotel Pool. Sleepless night. The kids took turns waking up and there was a lot of bed swapping as various people took exception to being kicked.

Day Two:

Dropped The Daddy off in town. Too exhausted to do any sightseeing after Day One and broken sleep, decided we would have a lazy day. But then spent an hour driving around looking for a McDonalds (cue The Daddy: “What is it with this city, where they hide all the fast food? Even in France if you drive in a straight line you’ll hit a McDonalds”) and by then we were all on our last legs. Nice Lady with the Nice Children in McDonalds, thank you for not reporting me to the CPS the moment we walked to the out door, leaving behind a wailing 4 Year Old. You see, I was pretending she wasn’t mine thought she was right behind me and then when the cries grew fainter, I realised she wasn’t. We were all having a tired morning. Went back to the hotel. Watched awful kids TV for a while to calm down, then went for a walk along the shore. Lots of dogs and people who liked children. Lots of opportunities for my kids to pet dogs and tell their life story:

Hi! I’m T-Bot! I’m Six Years Old! I was in kindergarten but soon I will be in First Grade! We’re from Texas! We came here on a plane! We’re staying in a hotel! We’re in room 918! We wanna pet your dog!

I’m Baby Sister! I’m Four! This is my dog Daisy. But he’s not a real dog, he’s only a toy!

San Francisco readers - now do you recognize us? My kids made it their mission to chat with all San Francisco.

Drove into town to pick up The Daddy. Friday night rush-hour. Circling around, found myself at a red light looking up at the sky. Accelerating violently as the light turned green (because nobody wants to flip backwards down a hill), almost bowled over a man in a very expensive suit. Would have been expensive when he sued me and oh, probably would have hurt him too, surprisingly he didn’t seem angry. If he insists on crossing there it probably happens to him all the time. Sat for another two hours in traffic.

Day Three:

No more driving The Daddy! Yay! Bundled up in our winter gear to go to Golden Gate Park. Beautiful park, awesome kids playground, and where else could you find a real old-fashioned carousel for 50c a ride? San Francisco, my purse salutes you!

Unfortunately the wind drove us back to the car so no loop of the park on foot as we had intended. Decided to head indoors. Drove through the city to Aquarium of the Bay. One word of advice: when they ask you at the entrance if you want a ticket for re-entry, just say yes. Aquarium of the Bay is a quality experience, but left my children begging for more. Side note: did you realize that starfish, when you touch them, are hard like rock, but sea cucumbers are highly squishy?

The sun came out so we walked Pier 39. The sea lions had The Wictor honking along with them, the other two were too overexcited to even notice. Lied to The T-Bot and told him he had to be eight to jump on the rubber band bungee thingy that turns you into an enormous puppet. He lied right back and told us he was eight. Ate overpriced tourist hot dogs and went back to the car. The top floor of the parking building gives a great view over the city so stayed there and watched awhile.

Next stop: Golden Gate Bridge.  In the wrong direction, ended up driving underneath the bridge instead of over the top. A fun experience in itself. Looped around and over another bridge back to the hotel. Declared ourselves done with traffic.

Day Four:

Decided to go where there were fewer cars… Big Basin Redwoods State Park, which, if you take route 236, leads you there over windy roads made for hobbits. Even New Zealand has no roads this skinny… actually it probably does but you don’t tend to drive them in a Chevy Uplander. Emotions ranged from Wow! to hysterical laughter, to just plain scared, especially after a near head-on collision around a corner with a procession of four cars coming the other way. The redwoods were truly majestic though and when we reached the walking paths, it was all worth it.  Chose the Redwood Loop, estimated 40 minutes and stroller accessible. The children declared this the best playground in the world (better even than a McDonalds Playplace! ). As an added bonus, saw our first chipmunk!

The path was the perfect length, for just as the crew started fighting and begging to be picked up, there was our car.

Took a different road back and avoided the Hobbit Forest.

Day Five:

Decided on The Beach. Specifically, the closest beach at Half Moon Bay. Very pretty and the light by the Pacific is quite magical. The Daddy led us along a walking path atop a cliff, unfortunately it turned out not to lead to the beach, but was a great walk anyway. Took the car in the other direction to the beach entrance. It was marked not safe for swimming (although that didn’t seem to deter the other parents any) so had fun building sandcastles and chasing each other back from the surf.

Could only find Burger King for lunch, ate BK and went back to the hotel happy.

Day Six:

Trip home. You don’t really think so much about the steps involved in air travel until you have children.  Arrived home 12 hours after leaving the hotel. Collapsed into bed. Haven’t stopped since. Hence post in shorthand.

So that, not at all in a nutshell, was our trip.

Last night we reviewed the video we took while away and were gratified to see the pleasure on our kids faces as they took in all the new sights and experiences.  Suddenly it doesn’t matter any more that the T-Bot stops everybody he sees to say

“We went on vacation to San Francisco! We ate Burger King!”

So we made it to California, where I have limited access to the computer, due to having to share a hotel room with three noisy, bouncing, over-excited children.  So far, it has been a very pleasant vacation.

I would like to thank the San Francisco Weather Fairy for giving us two lovely days of “heatwave” (ie Houston summer without the humidity), which allowed us to walk the zoo and the Burlingame walking paths in comfort.  We did have to pull out the jeans and jackets yesterday, but still managed a full (and I mean full) day of sightseeing.

I would also like to thank the good and patient people of San Francisco for putting up with my children, who have cut a swathe of brattiness through the city and its environs. I keep wanting to wail “But they’re not usually like this ! They’re sharing beds! They’re sleep deprived!”

(And next time I see a red-faced child in a store yelling “But I need it! You have to buy it for me! Now!” I won’t be so quick to judge).

More later when I can type without random limbs being thrown across the keyboard.

We are packed and ready to leave for San Francisco tomorrow morning. It took me a while, mostly because once I had the suitcases full to bursting I had to start over. 

You see, it was at this point that I remembered to look at the weather forecast. I did think about it a few days ago, and idly asked The Daddy

“What do you think I should pack to wear in San Francisco?” 

“I don’t know” he replied, “Flowers?” 

So I forgot about it until my suitcases were already full of shorts and tank tops and little dresses. 

Problem is, there are currently lows in the 50s in the Windy City. And the highest high I could find was for 79. My air conditioning is currently set to 79. Like, you know, cold. 

So I unpacked, and I added jeans. And I added long sleeves. And a jacket for everybody, because you never know. But I am sure it will be fine, and we will enjoy the kinder, cooler climate. And all the things to do and see and the walking… Did I mention the walking?  

You know really, it could be 50 below and we wouldn’t care. See you in a week!

A few photos from The Wictor’s birthday tea. Chocolate cake in the still-unfinished dining room. Apologies for the poor photos, we were just so excited. 

Blowing Out the Candles: 

Sampling The Cake: 

Fingers Just Aren’t Fast Enough!: 

Oh, and his birthday present from us? A Cars Rolling Trolley Case, of course!

I killed three birds with one stone: Birthday, Travel, School in September. Actually, four. Because now he and Baby Sister can stop fighting over her Hello Kitty case.  

Happy Birthday, The Wictor!

I found this putty in the $1 bins at Target a few weeks ago and added it to my “Summer Vacation Emergency Activity Box”. I pulled it out (three jars, each with a different tiny plastic dinosaur floating in the goo) this afternoon at around midday, just as the bickering was escalating to crisis point. 

I fully expected the novelty to wear off after 10 minutes or so, and hoped beyond hope that they would then naturally move on to other things. But two hours later, they were still sitting there. I wrenched The Wictor away for a nap at 2pm, and Baby Sister and T-Bot continued to play until 3pm, when we had to leave for speech therapy. They pleaded, they begged not to have to leave, then outright refused to go to the car until I issued wild threats, because they were having too much fun. We got back home at 4.30 and they played until dinnertime, and through dinnertime between mouthfuls, stopping only when the call went out for “Simpsons!”

We had the same stuff when I was a kid, only we called it Slime. We used to toss it from hand to hand and goof around, pretending it was snot and the like. The key here was the addition of paper plates, which added a whole new dimension to the experience. On a paper plate, you can cut holes in it, or make it into a lake, a bed for a dinosaur, anything your imagination will permit. If you are into sensory play, it certainly provides that, and The Wictor practiced his fine motor skills wobbling his putty into the jar and prizing it back out.  So, an unexpected all-round winner! 

The details? Made in China (of course), not specifically labelled non-toxic but none of our fingers have fallen off yet. Marked ages 4 and up, but the almost 2 year old has had just as much fun with it as anyone. 

I think I have broken a bone in my foot. I managed to drop the bottom (metal) half of an IKEA chair on it while we were shifting around the furniture upstairs. Because, yes, as if I didn’t already have enough to do, we decided to spend all of Sunday afternoon rearranging the media/guest room, moving out a closet and a Foof cushion and moving in a sofa from the upstairs lounge. Oh, and said chair. 

It’s not the first time I have broken a bone in my foot. Once a horse stepped on me and refused to get off for a really, really long time. I am slightly disfigured by that one, although you wouldn’t notice unless I put my two feet together to show you, and to do that I would have to be slightly drunk . Another time I broke my toe when I stubbed it on the ironing board. I really am that impressive. 

There is nothing you can do about a broken foot bone except wait for it to heal. But in the meantime, it hurts. 

In other news, we are going to San Francisco! No, not to Blogher, we are going in two weeks. The Daddy had to be there for work and we get to tag along. I am all in a tizzy because first there were flights and hotel to arrange and now I have to work out all those new rules around airline travel. Fed up of airports a long time ago, we have resisted flying recently, and I feel rather like somebody who has been released from a long prison sentence only to find everything has changed. You know, like I went in in 1969 and now everybody has computers, piercings and cellphones. 

I am excited about San Francisco though. The closest I ever got was in 1999 when we stayed in Silicon Valley and drove through the city on the way to catch a flight out of LA, with me craning my neck and saying “I can see the Golden Gate Bridge. Over there in the distance. Can’t we stop? Can’t we visit?” and The Daddy repeating sternly “No time! No time!”

(You should know this about The Daddy. He loves road trips. Stopping, not so much.)

I will have two days of entertaining the kids on my own, and then we get to take a short vacation. The Old Me would have been feverishly planning and packing and making check marks on lists but the New Me just can’t make the time. So I guess we will roll with it. I did randomly think about digging my Ergo out of the closet to carry The Wictor around in, then I remembered I lent it to a friend for a 3 month trip to Germany. I was never going to use it because we were staying home all summer. So onto Plan B,  purchase one of those flimsy $20 strollers once we arrive. Because, walking, we will be doing it! 

Here’s another thing: have you ever tried to book a middle of the range hotel room at the last minute for two adults and three children? Outside of the flashy suites or the crusty motels, not so easy. I am not asking for a row of bunks here, people, just for my children to be able to sleep in a room with me. It would kill me to have to leave one of them in the car. 

Finally after two hours of searching the internetz this weekend, I abandoned my vision of a cute little hotel in the city and we booked a two double-bed suite by the airport. Who are we kidding? We can’t escape suburbia - even while on vacation. Oh don’t worry, I am not bummed, the hotel looks nice and we will have a rental car and probably this way I will manage to drive places without having to negotiate too many of those narrow, crowded streets and - can you believe I used to drive in London? Me neither. 

Counting down to a vacation! I am excited, in those rare moments when I have the time. 

At the supermarket: “Wow! Lots of dead animals! Mommy, they shot lots of animals and then they put them in the supermarket so people could eat them!”

“I am lucky our house is so close to our school. If the school moved closer to the house and the house moved closer to the school it would be a schoolhouse.” 

Mommy: “T-Bot, do you know what an apple a day keeps the doctor away means?”

T-Bot: “Ye- es…”

Mommy: “What does it mean?”

T-Bot: “If you have an apple and you give it to the doctor, he will wave his hands in the air and scream and run away.”

“I don’t think an old, old, man is allowed to be president”

Made in garage sale: $23.25

Junk disposed of : a small amount, all at ridiculously low prices

Hours of preparation with the kids: Priceless

Yes, you read it right, we made a grand total of $23.25. It doesn’t sound like much, but the following points should be noted: 

a) We didn’t actually set up until 8am on Saturday

b) People started arriving before we even put any signs up, and The Daddy was still asleep, so we were limited to a sign out front to catch traffic through the subdivision. 

c) We mostly only had toys on offer

d) We had so little to sell that we closed up before 9am, after a stream of people came by commenting “is this it?” .

But you know, it was worth it for all the preparation, which used up several otherwise-idle hours over the course of the week. There were toys to sort (and rediscover and play with) and price labels to place, and on Friday afternoon The T-Bot helped me count the float. There was fun involved for everyone, even for The Wictor, who placed himself in charge of the labels. By Friday evening the whole downstairs was brighter for fluorescent stickers (although I drew a line at the leather chairs) and we were all walking around covered in them too. 

The T-Bot made an excellent salesperson, if a little pushy, and was, I think, enriched by the experience. He has been begging for a “store” for months and finally got to see what it was all about. But after an hour we were all ready to come in out of the heat. Besides, we needed to get to Target, money clutched in hot little hands. Barricade and pretty shoes were waiting.

For my 2.4 readers holding their breath and waiting for an update - I cancelled our doctors appointment. 

After lunch The Wictor had a long nap and The T-Bot and Baby Sister watched a good hour or more of Charlie and Lola, during which they laughed hysterically and did not come downstairs even once, and I - oh bliss! - guiltily engaged in computer based activities which did not involve Nick Jr or Starfall. And when The Wictor finally emerged, he still refused to put weight on his foot. But this time, when I inspected carefully, I discovered a tiny patch of swelling between his toes where an inexpertly cut toenail had been forced into the skin. Once he had finished lunch I tricked him into walking, and although he still trots awkwardly with two toes raised, he is more or less fine.

I cancelled the doctors appointment with 20 minutes to spare, breathed a sigh of relief, and then the fun started again.  The T-Bot declared today Earth Day! and instructed us in preparing a celebration mostly involving balloons with continents drawn on them and a reading about Pangea by Yours Truly. Also, South America and Australia cutouts on sticks cuddled up and had a cosy conversation and then cried as they were wrenched from each other. “I’ll miss you!” they shouted, as the Great Continent slowly broke apart. 

You couldn’t make it up.