Were you watching the Today show today? 

Were you watching with the subtitles on? 

I was, because I was in the waiting room at Kwik Kar with the Wictor, while they gave my SUV car a quickie oil change. This was shortly before the oil change turned into “Your brake pads are about to disintegrate, give us another $300″ and we were trapped there for an extra hour, but I digress. 

When The T-Bot was a tiny baby he would only nap on my lap. No kidding, he would fall asleep and if I tried to move him or put him down he would wake up again and then everybody was grumpy. So I spent hours and hours sitting on the couch watching the TV, with the subtitles on. Because, did I mention, noise would also wake him up? 

So I consider myself quite an expert on subtitlers (or Subtitle Executives, or whatever they call the people who sit there and type what people are saying). And as soon as I looked up at the Kwik Kar TV screen, I knew I had hit a bad one. The subtitles were either in a strange foreign language or had been typed on a German keyboard. Or both. Or maybe whoever was typing had been drinking. Heavily. A million scenarios spring to mind. 

Unfortunately I did not have pen and paper to hand, but this one I could not forget. Meet Carnal Electra: