I had this great idea where I would do a “Twelve Days of Christmas” thing and blog about it.

Except, instead of “my true love gave to me…” it would be “my true love looked after the kids while I accomplished this long overdue DIY task…”.

Because D.I.Y. -  I am D.I.Y!

(Ahem. This does not mean I am overly good at it. Just that I do it. If anybody is tempted to express surprise at this, just know that in this day and age that makes you a sexist dinosaur, oh yes it does. Also, I do have minor control issues and won’t let The Daddy do anything involving household tools, because I just know he will do it wrong. Except the pressure washer. He can go crazy with the pressure washer. I hate that thing. )

Then, when I got to thinking about it, it became clear that nobody was going to hang around for a blow-by-blow account of resealing the shower, for example. So I have rethought.

But, just for posterity, this is how I plan to spend The Daddy’s two weeks of vacation this year:

1. Reseal the shower before the supports underneath rot through and the whole bathroom collapses.

2. Finish touching up the moldings and baseboards in the dining room I started painting back in April.

3. Oil the family grandfather clock which was delivered to us in March, so that hopefully it will start working. The Daddy is very agitated about this one. Every time I ask him the time he looks balefully at the clock and says sadly “2:05″.

4. Finish pruning the crape myrtles. The aim is to stop those “ghostly hands” tap tap tapping on Baby Sister’s windows.

5. Replace the one crumbling board at the back of the house which is solely responsible for giving it an abandoned look.

6. Turn some funky vintage train wallpaper I just bought into a mural for The Wictor and make some cool stuff out of the rest.

7. Move the guest bed into The Wictor’s room and rearrange his room around it in a way that doesn’t encourage anyone illicitly jumping on the bed to jump right on out the window.

8. Rearrange the TV/Guest room so it is also a computer/Wii room. Put a lock on the door so I can keep the children in there.

9. Replace the following on my car: rear left indicator bulb, windshield wiper blades, key fob battery. Might make driving a little easier.

10. I haven’t thought of the others yet. I may be so tired by this point that I will want a rest. And lots of wine.

And after all that, don’t even think I am going to tackle the ironing pile.