Our Tooth Fairy has to be the worst tooth fairy ever.

A few weeks ago, I woke up at 6am with a horrible feeling that maybe she had forgotten my little boy and he would be horribly disappointed. Unfortunately as I was sliding my hand under his pillow to confirm whether or not the Tooth Fairy had, in fact, paid him a visit, he woke up. Briefly. He didn’t seem to remember this in the morning, but if it all comes out later during regressive therapy you know who I will be blaming.

Then - don’t ask me how I know this but I do - last night around midnight the Tooth Fairy was idly browsing Etsy when she clicked on Owly Shadow Puppets (one of my personal faves and obviously she likes them too) and happened to catch sight of the Tooth Fairy Puppet. It was only then that she remembered she was supposed to be at work and flitted off to collect teeth from all the boys and girls. Whew. Close call.

It’s just lucky that our Tooth Fairy is so generous or I would fire her on the spot. You see, it seems other people’s tooth fairies have not been keeping track of inflation and are still giving out 50c coins, which is approximately what I used to get in 1978. If I had known this from the beginning I would probably have hired a cheaper winged wonder but it’s a little late now.

So. A math quiz for you.  Each of my three children presumably has 20 deciduous teeth. Each of those teeth is worth $5.00. How much money will the tooth fairy have to fork out altogether?

*Thunk*  *Crash*

(That’s the sound of the Tooth Fairy fainting).