Let’s just say you live near Houston or anywhere else where the temperature is currently 98 F (37 C ) with 93% humidity.

Let’s just say you want to build one of these:

And you want to build it by the end of July because  that is when Aunty Natty is coming to visit and you so much want to LOUNGE!

On the enormous lounger!

With ice cold drinks and the latest trashy novels!

Because that is what sisters (should) do!

Let’s just assume you want to paint it a cheerful color and after some research and many baleful glances at your current, UV-damaged garden furniture you decide on a coat of primer and three coats of outdoor enamel, followed by three coats of Spar Urethane (Count it - 7 coats!). So you cut your many, many pieces of wood. Slowly, with a handsaw, because you can’t cut straight with a circular saw and are too cheap to fork out for a sliding miter saw.

Slowly, with a handsaw in 98% heat.

Then you sand all one hundred and two million pieces of wood in the 98% heat and wipe them all down in the 98% heat.

Obviously, you cannot do this all at once. You know, because of the 98% heat. So this step takes several weeks.

Then you start to paint your boards. You can maybe see where this is going.

Waiting for paint to dry in 93% humidity is like … watching paint dry. Only six hundred times as long. Torturous.

Try and apply the protective coat over this tacky tacky paint and when you sand after the first coat, half the paint will come off with it. I know because I have tried.

I should clarify that The Daddy has specifically requested No Distressed Furniture Within House or Yard.

Now I am the one who is distressed.

So, a friendly warning to anyone living in a humid zone who feels the urge to build an enormous double lounger and lacks an air conditioned workshop:

DON’T!

(Sorry, Aunty Natty. This has now become a winter project. But we do have a hammock!!)